Valentine Day Woes

As soon as we hit 1st of Feb, both my sister and me started getting calls from our friends about their exciting love lives, plans to marry if they are single, or their marital bliss if they are not. My sister took to the Ganges. Well, not literally. Just that she spent a weekend in Haridwar, and I understand. The pressure on her is greater coz she’s the elder one. I seriously abuse her feelings by hiding behind her skirts every time friends or ‘well-wishers’ come over and ask us horribly personal questions. My standard line, is ‘Elder Sis has to go first!!’ Poor Girl!

So she went to Haridwar while I visited a shrine of equal importance in my mind ‘ The International Book Fair’ – That’s as close to Paradise I’ll ever get I think! Should have seen my Dad, was hopping around like a four year old in a candy store, and I hopped along right beside him. Mom followed, muttering under her breath… ‘ Could have bought a bit of gold, that would help them in the future..what a waste of money..could have bought new curtains..and the whistle to my cooker’..[to Dad] ‘oh isn’t that your college friend’s son..who graduated from the best Law college in India..N run a comb through your hair..wear the coat and try not to look like a child we’ve picked up from the street’. Well, what can I say!

Then the V day finally arrived. I - completely digressing from my normal eyebrow-near-my-hairline, nose-in-the-air, disdainful, rock star attitude towards silly twits who give so much importance to this day - dressed in my Sunday best and went, get this, to office. It’s just a day past yesterday and I can’t figure out what in the capital made me decide to wear a rainbow colored saree to office. My only feeling towards that right now is “Somebody should have stopped me!!!”
Like, could I have made things more obvious had I walked around with my thumb and my index finger stuck to my forehead at a 90 degree angle? I think not!!

Women love to analyze. It’s a way of life for them. I won’t go against that and hence, will continue to ramble.
What did I hope to gain by making this day out to be something more than any other Tuesday? Did I really think some person would ride up to me on a horse and gift me flowers? Now there’s a thought…if someone had actually ridden up on a horse and presented me with beautiful flowers..what would I have done? Lecture him on how flowers look best in gardens when they are alive and how horses should be allowed to run free on green pastures.
Don’t snort! I’ve done that before. Five years ago a guy walked up to me, pointed to the fake flower bouquet at my desk and asked me “Why do you keep artificial flowers around when you have a real rose here”, I lectured him on the natural beauty of living flowers, how the gardener at our office doesn’t allow us to pluck them, and the consequences to our environment by such frivolous actions. I think I mentioned the holes in the ozone layer as well. All that, before I realized he was trying to compliment me by comparing me to a rose. Hhmmm..my defense – I had never been compared to a rose or any flower for that matter, before that cheesy compliment came my way.

Digressed again..but I’m every woman..so u’ll just have to bear with me.

Yesterday I just wanted to be my highly suppressed childish self that wanted to believe, against all that’s real that maybe someone would want to make this day a little special for me. With a phone call, a hand delivered gerbera, or with a personal presence.
Didn’t happen. Nothing did. That too was alright. But the next time when some young ones gush about such super romantic expressions..my eyebrow will go up at a slower pace, and my nose won’t go that high up in the air as it used to. Can't let go of the act completely ..coz hey, i have an image to maintain.
Somewhere though, there’ll be the knowledge that, that beast of silly optimism lies sleeping in me. I'm not as different, as i wanted to, needed to believe!Sigh!