Adam & Eve – I’m a big big girl, in a big big world
Bubbles (read Bestest Friend) called from the States recently. I always love talking to her, she is the sunshine of my life….but strangely this time I kinda burned. Reason being Bubbles went into an elucidation of her rocking love life, which I could really, truly do without. She’s dating this gora, and apparently the sex is so hot the she broke his bed during one session. Of course he got up thumping his chest the next day, feeling all man and all, and promptly spread the word. BOYSSS!!!!!
Well now for revenge Bubbles started calling Gora an extremely unsavory hindi gaali that starts with C$#@*!. Told Gora it means sweetheart in Hindi. Well, here I was genuinely worried about what would happen if he found out the true meaning of that word. Seems he just wanted to live up to it. He arrived at Bubbles house slightly drunk and punished her by f***ing her all night!!!
In the case of state vs bubbles, bubbles is found guilty and is awarded 3 O’s!!
Dear God ji, where is the justice in all of this.
If this is the rate at which things are gonna proceed,
by the time I get up there,
I’ll be the one doing the accounting!
My aura must been the murkiest, dirtiest, darkest shade of green at that point of time….Bubbles had the guts to complain about missing classes the next day. Yeah Right …Pooor Baby!!
And there I was once again, on a date with a very beautiful man, whose overriding feeling for me is one of guilt. Yup, guilt! Coz I am 7 years younger to him and he really feels every second of that difference.
Here’s the sequence:
Sitting in the car, listening to Aziz Mian( believe it or not). I am zoned out..no, not doped..but in sort of a lala land..aziz mian has that effect on me. Boyfriend singing along with him. I want to kill him,softly…but first….
He: "You’re such a sweet little kid"
Me: No response…dreaming you see…what is that drug known as the date rape drug!...whatever it is..i see myself putting that in his drink
He: "I wish you were 5 years older.I wish you weren’t so young and innocent"
Me: "Innocent. Yesss"….he’s drinking it..the unsuspecting fool…didn’t his momma teach him to make his own drinks…..Triumphant Smile
He: "What ..what are you thinking about?"
Me: "Nothing in particular!!"....If only you knew….he’s getting a glazed look in his eyes now..he slip my hands through his..you’ve been working so hard darling…wanna just rest your eyes for a while? ..me all false concern
He: "Sweety..what are you smiling about?"..humming to Aziz Mian
Me: "Mian Khuda ko pyaare ho gaye…if he was alive..i would have killed him by slow torture. I would have taped his own songs and made him listen to it day and night!"
He: Laughs…."There is no one else like Aziz Mian"
Me: "Let’s kneel down and say a prayer of thanks to that!!"...oh…back the the dream…he’s on the bed…exactly where I have wanted him…he’s sleeping now…and I ….oh god am busy taking of his clothes. There goes that white shirt…should be put through a rough wash for looking so sinful on him..and there..off with his Levi’s...hehe
Oops I just giggled out loud!!
He: "What? God alone knows what goes on in your mind!!"
Me: "hhuuhh…yeah..even I can’t keep track of what I’m thinking man!!"
Hhmmmm….pretending to hum to mian…"How did Aziz Mian die? Was it a violent death?"(wistfully)
He: "hehe..tum bhi na!!"
Me: "hhhmm!!"...so where were we..yeah..clothes off..then..ofcourse..he’s a foot taller than me and weighs slightly more than twice my size, without exaggeration..so we don’t want him resisting do we ;-)…hence its just a necessary requirement that causes me to tie him up…OMG..OMG…OMG!!
He: Chalo..we’ve reached!!
Me: *looking zonked*..huh…I haven’t ..i didn’t..wait...
He: "Chalo beta!!! What ..why’re you looking like that..u feeling hot!!there’s AC inside!!"
Me: "Yeah ..i’m just coming(hell ya)"..
Walk out of the car..into our friends house…friend’s husband comes out to greet us.I make polite sounds..still desperately trying to recapture that dream..three kids greet me inside….the youngest one greets me with his version of my name..i love him. The older two ..quite old..like 12 and 10 years and all, smile as I walk in. They are saying something to some aunty....i have a dazed smile on my face..still desperately holding on to the scene in my mind u see… i look behind me ..there is no one there..i come out of my dreamworld..slowly and painfully..two grown up kids were calling me aunty. I lost the scene. It died a silent death. Looked accusingly at BF. Looked back at those two stupid kids…a bright fake smile pasted on my face….. “Hello beta, how are you, padhai kaise chal rahi hai (I hope u fail this year)..achcha.. khelne ja rahe ho?jaoo..enjoy yourselves!" (I hope someone breaks your stupid cycle).
God Ji,
Ni mei kaiya..God Ji..do remember the account book!!
Yours Sincerely
Well now for revenge Bubbles started calling Gora an extremely unsavory hindi gaali that starts with C$#@*!. Told Gora it means sweetheart in Hindi. Well, here I was genuinely worried about what would happen if he found out the true meaning of that word. Seems he just wanted to live up to it. He arrived at Bubbles house slightly drunk and punished her by f***ing her all night!!!
In the case of state vs bubbles, bubbles is found guilty and is awarded 3 O’s!!
Dear God ji, where is the justice in all of this.
If this is the rate at which things are gonna proceed,
by the time I get up there,
I’ll be the one doing the accounting!
My aura must been the murkiest, dirtiest, darkest shade of green at that point of time….Bubbles had the guts to complain about missing classes the next day. Yeah Right …Pooor Baby!!
And there I was once again, on a date with a very beautiful man, whose overriding feeling for me is one of guilt. Yup, guilt! Coz I am 7 years younger to him and he really feels every second of that difference.
Here’s the sequence:
Sitting in the car, listening to Aziz Mian( believe it or not). I am zoned out..no, not doped..but in sort of a lala land..aziz mian has that effect on me. Boyfriend singing along with him. I want to kill him,softly…but first….
He: "You’re such a sweet little kid"
Me: No response…dreaming you see…what is that drug known as the date rape drug!...whatever it is..i see myself putting that in his drink
He: "I wish you were 5 years older.I wish you weren’t so young and innocent"
Me: "Innocent. Yesss"….he’s drinking it..the unsuspecting fool…didn’t his momma teach him to make his own drinks…..Triumphant Smile
He: "What ..what are you thinking about?"
Me: "Nothing in particular!!"....If only you knew….he’s getting a glazed look in his eyes now..he slip my hands through his..you’ve been working so hard darling…wanna just rest your eyes for a while? ..me all false concern
He: "Sweety..what are you smiling about?"..humming to Aziz Mian
Me: "Mian Khuda ko pyaare ho gaye…if he was alive..i would have killed him by slow torture. I would have taped his own songs and made him listen to it day and night!"
He: Laughs…."There is no one else like Aziz Mian"
Me: "Let’s kneel down and say a prayer of thanks to that!!"...oh…back the the dream…he’s on the bed…exactly where I have wanted him…he’s sleeping now…and I ….oh god am busy taking of his clothes. There goes that white shirt…should be put through a rough wash for looking so sinful on him..and there..off with his Levi’s...hehe
Oops I just giggled out loud!!
He: "What? God alone knows what goes on in your mind!!"
Me: "hhuuhh…yeah..even I can’t keep track of what I’m thinking man!!"
Hhmmmm….pretending to hum to mian…"How did Aziz Mian die? Was it a violent death?"(wistfully)
He: "hehe..tum bhi na!!"
Me: "hhhmm!!"...so where were we..yeah..clothes off..then..ofcourse..he’s a foot taller than me and weighs slightly more than twice my size, without exaggeration..so we don’t want him resisting do we ;-)…hence its just a necessary requirement that causes me to tie him up…OMG..OMG…OMG!!
He: Chalo..we’ve reached!!
Me: *looking zonked*..huh…I haven’t ..i didn’t..wait...
He: "Chalo beta!!! What ..why’re you looking like that..u feeling hot!!there’s AC inside!!"
Me: "Yeah ..i’m just coming(hell ya)"..
Walk out of the car..into our friends house…friend’s husband comes out to greet us.I make polite sounds..still desperately trying to recapture that dream..three kids greet me inside….the youngest one greets me with his version of my name..i love him. The older two ..quite old..like 12 and 10 years and all, smile as I walk in. They are saying something to some aunty....i have a dazed smile on my face..still desperately holding on to the scene in my mind u see… i look behind me ..there is no one there..i come out of my dreamworld..slowly and painfully..two grown up kids were calling me aunty. I lost the scene. It died a silent death. Looked accusingly at BF. Looked back at those two stupid kids…a bright fake smile pasted on my face….. “Hello beta, how are you, padhai kaise chal rahi hai (I hope u fail this year)..achcha.. khelne ja rahe ho?jaoo..enjoy yourselves!" (I hope someone breaks your stupid cycle).
God Ji,
Ni mei kaiya..God Ji..do remember the account book!!
Yours Sincerely
posted by Michael at 3:46 AM
12 Comments:
Really hilarious, only if it was not true. Will reserve my other comments since Hugh Jackman is making an appearence on telly in Van Helsing!
say codey..we have got similar tastes in men...hugh jackman is yummy.tell me that your fav actress is angelina jolie..she is soooo hot!
hehe.. thank god we don't have a situation where we have to share them :) The movie was really sad though.
AJ is kinky hot, dark and delicious!
Would you have a copy of Someone Like You lying around by some chance?
i can find out today ...atleast one of my friends should have it...i likes that movie.
big, bright girl???..i'm not that big??..bad world?? i dunno..i'm still young, stupid, and optimistic :-)
LOL...and the comments exchange between u and codey are so so wicked! And yr post...it rocks! Had me in splits, and i had to share it with a colleague at wrk who burst out guffawing once he was thru too.
Big hug, baby! This too shall pass ;)
you just made my day vijayeta...big hug right back at you.
HAhahahahaha....I was laughing on that "i wish you fail this year'. Engaging! :-)
that was a heartfelt curse at that time...but i hope it doesn't affect the kid in anyway..i believe he was just being respectful
As long as you don't become a big big aunty in a big big world! rofl
Shankari: i'm young..i'm very young...very very young. and i can face war but don't know if i have guts to become a big big aunty.
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