Adam & Eve -Part 1- Father Figure
I have very fond memories of my father taking me to school or rather the bus stop. He continued doing that till i was 14yrs old. After that for a long time he would just stand at the apartment gate and watch us walk towards the bus stand and leave once he knew we had reached there safely enough. Trying desperately not to step on our (my sister's and my) independent toes, but making sure we were protected and safe. He was and still is my hero. But as a tiny tot my dad was beyond a hero, he was God to me. He could do no wrong and loved us unconditionally. He still remains the only man i can kill and get killed for.
I always wanted a man like him when i was young..well right now it seems as if i got my wish, only now i don't know whether i asked for the right thing. I didn't want a substitute father in my lover.
Usually i believe the comment goes like " i like him but i don't love him"...in my case going against the flow as is usual, I’d say " i love the man i am with right now, but i don't necessarily like him all that much" to elucidate further on that i'd say that in a situation if his life can be saved only by sacrificing mine, i'd do that happily.
Suffice to say I can die for him, living with him though seems slightly tougher as a prospect.
Remember I told you about how my dad used to leave me to school, fast-forward to the present, my man picks me up from my apartment and leaves me to office everyday. Every time he does that, I get a distinct sense of déjà vu.
That Man is everything I hoped for as a caring partner, takes me to office, earlier on when we used to go out to our friends place, he’d make sure I was fed well, had company, would be by my side if I get lonely, carry me when my feet were aching – teasing me -(in that oh so sexy voice of his)- for wearing impossibly high heels while doing that, and cook for me. He’s a dream come true for all womankind. One would wonder what more does this girl want – a Taj Mahal built in her name?.
Don’t get me wrong, I have never wanted a guy to call me up 10 times a day with declarations of ‘I Love Yous’ or a 100 red roses at my doorstep or anything that dramatic. My only regret is that this man does all the unbelievably sweet things he does with a sense of responsibility towards a young ward. Never have I seen him look at me in the manner a man looks at a woman . Every look, touch, and action is distinctly paternal or worse fraternal, and I don’t know what to do about it. It almost seems that in his mind he has never thought of me as a woman. I’m a little girl. In his words ‘nice, pretty and cute’. Somebody please shoot him.
Its right when they say..be careful what you wish for…u just might get it!
I always wanted a man like him when i was young..well right now it seems as if i got my wish, only now i don't know whether i asked for the right thing. I didn't want a substitute father in my lover.
Usually i believe the comment goes like " i like him but i don't love him"...in my case going against the flow as is usual, I’d say " i love the man i am with right now, but i don't necessarily like him all that much" to elucidate further on that i'd say that in a situation if his life can be saved only by sacrificing mine, i'd do that happily.
Suffice to say I can die for him, living with him though seems slightly tougher as a prospect.
Remember I told you about how my dad used to leave me to school, fast-forward to the present, my man picks me up from my apartment and leaves me to office everyday. Every time he does that, I get a distinct sense of déjà vu.
That Man is everything I hoped for as a caring partner, takes me to office, earlier on when we used to go out to our friends place, he’d make sure I was fed well, had company, would be by my side if I get lonely, carry me when my feet were aching – teasing me -(in that oh so sexy voice of his)- for wearing impossibly high heels while doing that, and cook for me. He’s a dream come true for all womankind. One would wonder what more does this girl want – a Taj Mahal built in her name?.
Don’t get me wrong, I have never wanted a guy to call me up 10 times a day with declarations of ‘I Love Yous’ or a 100 red roses at my doorstep or anything that dramatic. My only regret is that this man does all the unbelievably sweet things he does with a sense of responsibility towards a young ward. Never have I seen him look at me in the manner a man looks at a woman . Every look, touch, and action is distinctly paternal or worse fraternal, and I don’t know what to do about it. It almost seems that in his mind he has never thought of me as a woman. I’m a little girl. In his words ‘nice, pretty and cute’. Somebody please shoot him.
Its right when they say..be careful what you wish for…u just might get it!
posted by Michael at 9:41 PM
9 Comments:
hmm...this post got me thinking, in more ways than one!
I guess its natural to look for some of the qualities that you admire in your parent ....in your life-partner ...sometimes we are not even aware of it...
I wonder if its never possible to have everything you want in the same person ....as in, your man seems to be a dream come true for a woman, just like you said....sensitive, caring, committed...and yet there is something missing....something that apparently makes all the difference to you....that makes me wonder again ....is it that we are not destined to be satisfied and happy? :( either we dont get what we want and are unhappy....or we do get what we want and are unhappy for it turned out we didn't really know what we were wanting?
u're right girl...the blog may come across as if i'm not satisfied with what i have..and i have one of the best.
but if u were me you'd feel strongly on whats missing too..its like you don't feel needed , he's with you becoz he comitted to you and he is a good man who takes his commitments seriously..and i would keep wondering as to what is it that he sees in me..what is it that he want from me? ..nothing
And yes...many of us get exactly what we want, but then change our mind.
Make no mistakes i want him..he's a gem..just don't know what i am to him
Trust me, this is not the first time I've heard something like this and like everytime I don't have a good enough response (read, prolly the answer you want to hear)for it.
And hello syl :p
Codey- i never expected any answers on this...just trashing out my thoughts..in an efforst to see light at the end of the tunnel...and i'll never make the mistake of thinking i'm alone in this situation. All of us face it in one way or another..god only knows how this is playing out in my man's mind.
Frigid midget - sexy lingerie and alcohol...hmm..someday girl..some day.
he reads the blog?
oh god!! no!..no..i don't think so ..yeah definitely no..don't scare me codey boy!..no he doesn't read the blog..he's a busy man and i don't think he knows my blog name.
codey..forgive my impertinence in saying he's a busy man..as if hum sab to velle baithe hai..just felt someone crawling over my grave for a sec..a moment of sheer panic clouded my brain. But no he doesn't read my blogs!!he doesn't
Hehe.. at least make sure that he does not read the blog before you try the booze & sexy stuff approach.
i'd leave out the booze...that gives a very sleazy tint to the entire situation..can just imagine a slimy oily producer like character..intoning .."i'll make a star out of u baby".
and i really don't mind him reading my blog..he's used to me now..so whatever is written won't surprise him one bit. He'll think its nice, and cute ..sigh!
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